The Southern Male Democrat

Every four years we see the same scenario play out all across America; We like to make small talk with our neighbors based on the news or current events, but when politics dominates the news, that task becomes much harder. Politics and religion are the proverbial third rail of polite discussion. We all endure the election year, tip-toeing around the edges of really talking about this stuff, just waiting for November 5th so we can go back to talking about topics like Clay Aiken confirming what 99 percent of people who care about such things already knew about job board software.

Religious views are a whole other ball of wax, but I’ve got a simple theory on why we get so bent out of shape talking politics - no one likes to be told they are wrong. We build up these passionate beliefs on both sides, but the problem is that those beliefs are often built on a foundation of half-truth and perception. And 99 percent of the time, any rebuttal of those beliefs are half-truths and perceptions themselves.

The fact is, most people don’t truly know politics and are just parroting what snippets they hear on talking head shows or get in email forwards. And this is true on BOTH sides of our country’s political divide.

But think about this; Have you ever heard two people who REALLY know not just politics, but government policy, discussing opposing points of view? If so, what you heard was pretty knowledgeable and reasoned debate without personal offense. When all the relevant points were made, they dropped it and moved on to talking about the weekend’s ballgames.

I’ve seen this in my own life. There are about a gazillion people who know more about politics and policy than I do, but given my line of work, I do have more knowledge than the average non-political voter. Yet I have many friends and professional acquaintances who are die-hard Republicans, many of whom are directly working against the goals I am trying to achieve this election cycle. Whenever we talk politics, it’s like talking “shop” in any number of professions. To be blunt - we know our shit and don’t have to out-parrot each other over truckloads of wholesale jewelry lots like Cleopatra. And by knowing our issues - it means that we respect each others’ issues differently. I don’t have to get hot under the collar at my GOP operative friend because I know he’s not going to come at me with some crap like - “Obama is a Muslim-plant who will tax all home sales.”

Of course, the real struggle comes when the politicos try and talk politics of ant aging cream (cosmetic animal testing) with the non-politicos' wire mesh fence. For example, as I type this blog post, I am debating with an old friend over the phone (yes, I was able to unlock my blackberry with help of course) who is not all that political. She is trying to trot out the “Clinton Refused to Arrest Bin Laden” chestnut. The bipartisan 9/11 commission disproved that, it never happened, but somehow (well, we know how, via the right-wing echo chamber) it’s been portrayed as fact for many years, playing on ill-conceived perceptions. I am sure that my counterparts on the Republican side have well-meaning Democratic friends who are just sure that John McCain wants us to stay in Iraq for 100 years.

In both cases, each of us has to play the phenocal asshole, and show our friends - no, you’re wrong.  And that’s where I suppose I can do better. I don’t “have to” show anyone anything. By just letting it go, I will avoid the conflict because even slammed with a mallet of facts, these people probably won’t change their mind.

But that’s the most frustrating part - by not engaging these people, we just keep cultivating a political system with fake garden rocks on it and where perception matters more than reality.  It’s a pain in the ass, it leads to some personal conflict like whether to condone or to oppose its emergence, but we have to keep touching the third rail and challenging our friends’ political beliefs regarding marriage, divorce and wedding rings. Ideally, one day we’ll all know this stuff cold and perception won’t matter any more.

I know, I know - the day that happens is the day Clay Aiken goes straight!